Hogan's Mandates
by ENester
Summary: The heroes must fall on policy debate to rescue a comrade from transfer. Stems from Sticky Wicket Newkirk.


The door to Barracks 2 flung open, emitting a raging Hogan. The swirling snow flew in, and the men huddled around the little fire shuddered. Obviously things had not gone well in his meeting with Colonel Klink.

"Kinch is still in line to be transferred to Stalag 8, I take it?" LeBeau asked once Hogan was inside.

Hogan scowled. "Not only that, but Klink _laughed _at the idea that his policy of transferring prisoners might not be a good idea. He was positively gleeful."

"Always a sign of bad news," Newkirk commented from beneath two blankets. "He was like that when he tried to transfer me too."

The Englishman fell silent to Hogan's venomous glare. "Newkirk, we need to focus. If we don't convince Old Iron Eagle that his automatic transfer policy is still a bad idea, we're going to lose a valuable member of our team."

Silence overcame the barracks, each man thinking of the implications losing Kinch would have on the group. The half-hearted Gin Rummy game between Carter and LeBeau faltered and died out. Hogan paced the room, arms crossed, trying to think of an alley he hadn't yet covered.

As the minutes ticked by, the silence became oppressive.

The door flew open again, this time bringing Schultz. He flung himself down on the bench besides LeBeau.

"My feet are frozen," he whined. "In fact, my whole body is frozen. Kommandant Klink has had me marching the wire _all day long. _It could kill a fit man, let alone someone carrying around as much weight as I do."

Hogan smiled, grateful to have some release to the endless plotting and ever increasing depression. "And why did he have you marching so much?"

The rotund guard shot Hogan a look. "Why was I marching so much? It was because your man Kinch decided to get himself caught outside the wire."

"Believe it or not, there was a reason for him getting caught," Hogan slyly told Schultz.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Do you _really _want to know?"

Schultz's face betrayed his sudden understanding. He clamped his hands to his ears and loudly exclaimed. "No! I do _not _want to know why. I will march the wire. I know _nothing!_"

Newkirk got off his bunk and put a comforting arm on the guard's shoulder. "No one's telling you anything, mate."

"Good." Schultz slowly removed his hands from his ears and relaxed. "Oh Colonel Hogan, I did talk to the Kommandant about his transfer policy."

The Senior Prisoner of War leaned in closer, a glimmer of hope visible on his face. "And?"

"He laughed at me and gave me more time of walking the wire. Told me it was not a guard's place to judge camp policy. Next time you ask me a favor, Colonel Hogan, remind me to say no. In my experience, it is always better _not _to do as you ask."

Carter shuffled the deck of cards, his face thoughtful. "You know, I used to be a policy debater back in Bull Frog. All this talk of camp policy and debate has made me remember how much fun it was. Boy – I remember this one resolution, my partner and I had this fantastic plan and we were _sure _we were going to win, and then the big city folks came in from Bismark and – "

"Handed your self-esteem to you on a platter?" Newkirk asked sarcastically. "Carter, if you must talk about such things, please don't do it in a time of crisis."

Next to Newkirk, however, Hogan was suddenly very interested. "Carter," he said slowly, "tell me more about this debate."

Immediately, Schultz saw the danger and stood up. "You boys are planning something. I do not want to hear your plans. It is _much _better for a man of my age with a wife and children to know nothing and march the wire then know something and be at the Russian Front."

Hogan barely registered the departure of the guard as he leaned in to hear Carter's explanation.

"Debate," Carter began, warming to his subject, "is divided into four categories: Lincoln/Douglas, Public Forum, Congress, and Policy. (1) There might be other kinds, but that was all that North Dakota participated in. Anyway, I was a policy debater, and what I did make a policy that addressed a resolution made up by a national committee. It's probably the most work I ever did in high school, and it denoted me as a nerd forever, but I love it - the exhilaration of stepping up to the podium without any idea as to what I will say next; the confidence of ability I may hold in myself after nailing down my case or finding just the right article to run a disadvantage on the affirmative's advantage one, subpoint b, when their Mandates just don't stay topical..."

LeBeau tilted his head in confusion. "Colonel Hogan, I don't see how – "

The Colonel held up his hand. "LeBeau, this might be the vary foundation on how we spring Kinch.

Newkirk met the eyes of the Frenchman. "You know, I wonder so often if Colonel Hogan's gone round the bend, that I'm starting to think that perhaps what I've considered normal, is in fact rather unnatural."

"Men, listen. All we have to do is debate over Klink's policy transfer, and then we can buy Kinch's freedom. We all know what a lousy speechmaker our beloved Kommandant is."

Three blank faces met Hogan's. He sighed and zipped up his jacket. "I'll going to talk to the Kommandant. I'll be back. Carter, tell Newkirk and LeBeau everything you know about debate. They'll need it."

* * *

Nearly a half hour later, Hogan returned to Barracks 2, this time with a more amiable expression on his face. "Fellows, he bought my plan hook, line, and sinker!" 

"We're going to have a debate then?" LeBeau asked cautiously.

"More than just a debate," Hogan said. "A full scale tournament! Every barracks is going to put together a team and we're going to debate one another tomorrow evening. The winning team will debate Klink and, of course, his partner Hilda. We agreed the resolution will be this: _Resolved: The Kommandant of Stalag 13 should establish a policy other than automatic transfer for disciplinary actions._"

Carter's face lit up. "Oh boy! I never thought I'd be debating again! One day isn't very much time, but I think I can put together a decent stash of information. If not, I can always pretend I have information. That will serve as a great intimidation factor. And when we start – "

LeBeau, Newkirk, and Hogan were all staring at the young soldier. Carter finally got their message and went red.

"Who's going to judge?" LeBeau asked after Carter mumbled an apology.

Hogan sighed. "That's the one little problem we ran into in this whole thing. For the inter-barracks tournament, an impartial prisoner will serve. However, for the Klink round, impartial was a little hard to find. Klink and I however agreed that Schultz would make a fine judge."

Newkirk stared. "Schultz? I- Know-Nothing Schultz?"

"The very same."

The Englishman threw his hat down on his bunk. "We're doomed to lose."

LeBeau put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "That's not the point. Even if we lose, we'll be able to show Klink how bad his policy is for the camp. Winning doesn't really matter."

"Actually," Carter began, "winning is the essential purpose to the debate round. To win a debate round in fact is –"

"Carter," Hogan said softly. "Not now."

* * *

The next day brought a break in the weather and a hesitant stalemate between spring and winter. LeBeau reckoned that Old Man Winter had one more big blast in him, but it would wait another few days to regain his strength from yesterday's battle. 

Inside the Recreation Hall, the amount of bodies packed together to watch the final debate made the weather seem almost too warm. A total of 32 of the barracks had contributed teams to the efforts – 36 actually had wanted to, but dropped out to make the numbers easier to handle. Klink could be seen in deep counsel with Hilda, although one of the prisoners had suggested to debate over whether or not they were actually working on defending the discipline plan.

To know one's surprise, affirmative teams were sweeping the floor with creative discipline plans. Barracks 16 won the heart of all its judges with its "All Transgressors Will Join in the Beautify Stalag 13 Campaign" and the team representing Barracks 27 got booed out of the Recreation Hall for suggesting that there were no Significant Harms to the current plan. At the end of the day, Carter and Hogan were debating the team from Barracks 11, a power team with one member who debated in high school, and another with a lawyer for a father. Although it was previously decided that the rounds should be rigged so Hogan debated Klink, a judges conference concluded that Barracks 11 team was much more talented.

Klink arrived, looking rather flustered, trailing a blushing Hilda. He carried a folder of evidence, and winced at the sight of the assembled men. They took their seats at the table opposite the Barracks 11 team, Bortner and Schaffer. A sulking Carter was finishing rewiring the lights in the Recreation Hall so they all shown at the podium. Hogan, at the request of a very nervous Schultz introduced the round.

"Attention all Soldiers, Enemy and Ally alike! We are about to begin the last round of the first ever Stalag 13 Debate tournament. Many of you have competed today, but I know that there are just as many who know nothing about debate. I will thus give you a brief explanation of what you are about to see.

"Bortner and Schaffer, representing the POWs and Barracks 11 are presenting a new disciplinary policy. Klink and Hilda, representing the Germans, must defend the old policy of automatic transfers. Schaffer will present their case in an orginal 8 minutes speech. Hilda then will have 3 minutes to cross examine him before Klink presents his 8 minute defense speech. Schaffer then has her 3 minutes of cross-x, followed by Bortner's 8 minute speech again advocating the POWs' position. Klink will then cross-ex him, followed by Hilda's 8 minutes speech, and then Bortner's 3 minute cross-ex of Hilda. Then, in the order of Klink, Schaffer, Hilda, and Bortner, all will present 5 minute speeches. Each team is allowed 5 minutes of preparation time. With this said, I now declare this debate in session!"

A cheer followed Hogan's lengthy speech. Not many more, besides those that actually had debated that day, really understood the technical issues, but they all knew that the end result was not who won or lost, but the recession of Klink's transfer policy.

The ensuing debate was predictable. The Barracks 11 team ran a superb case claiming that discipline should increase proportionally with the transgression, and the only cause for transfer should be severe injury to another prisoner or guard or the majority of POWs requesting that particular prisoner transferred. Klink haughtily defended himself, but provided no real solid evidence in his progressively worsening speeches. Hilda surprised everyone by actually addressing the debate and throwing out terms like "they have no inherency or solvency" and "no significant harms were presented" but she had no evidence.

Schultz, predictably, declared Klink and Hilda the winners. Despite this, however, Hogan noted a particularly pale expression on the Kommandant's face. Hope spread throughout the prisoners the harsh policy might actually be rescinded.

* * *

The prisoners stood in formation for role call the following day. Carter bounced excitedly from foot to foot, attracting many glares from Schultz and his fellow guards. 

"Today's the day Kinch was scheduled for his transfer," he whispered to Newkirk nervously. "Do you think our debate made Klink change his mind?"

Newkirk shrugged. "We'll find out as soon as he gets his Kraut self outside. If we have to freeze outside in the snow, why doesn't he?"

Nearby, Schultz overheard and stopped counting. "Yeah," the guard said fiercely. "Why doesn't he? That doesn't seem fair at all!"

LeBeau smiled. "You tell him, Schultz. Tell him it isn't fair!"

"Yeah. I think I will! Now, where was I? LeBeau, do you remember what number I was on?"

"Just say everyone's here, Schultz," LeBeau said. "I give you my word."

Schultz patted the Frenchman on the head. "That's very nice of you, LeBeau. We should work out a deal like this more often. Very clever."

Klink emerged from his office, rubbing his arms briskly. "Report!"

"All present and accounted for, Herr Kommandnat," Schultz replied, winking at LeBeau. The Frenchman cringed, but Klink missed it.

"My enemies, I have an announcement to make. I have had orders from General Burkhulter himself saying that Prisoner Exchanges are much too expensive to take place with any great frequency. In accommodation, I have changed my discipline policy. From now on, the only transfers will come from severe injury to a prisoner or guard, or at the request of a majority of prisoners. The discipline of all other transgressions will be proportional. Dismissed!"

As the men of camp slapped on another on the back, Hogan approached Klink before he had a chance to escape into the warmth of his office. "Kommandant," he called, "does this mean that Sergeant Kinchloe's transfer will be rescinded?"

Klink froze. Apparently, Kinch's case had slipped his mind. "Very well, yes. But he is confined to Barracks for two weeks!"

"You are a very humane man, Kommandant," Hogan said with a smile. "The men appreciate it."

As Hogan returned to Barracks 2, he began to whistle. Debate. Who'd have thought it would save his operation?

* * *

(1) Four forms of debate the National Forensic League currently sponsors. At the time of Hogan's Heroes, I doubt all of these were formalized forms of debate. However, policy debate, as done in the story has been around long enough. For more information, visit the link http://en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Policydebate  



End file.
